MARRY

I don’t hide behind one finger. I don’t mince words. Please no one should sermonize me inbox. I know who I am and I am not in doubt about what I want for me, or my family. I say it as it is. I don’t care if it is politically correct or not.

My forefathers left us a saying; it is when you are not old enough to lose your teeth that you don’t smile with lost front teeth. When you are old enough you bare it!

I haven’t washed clothes with my hands for the last 20+ years. I have not taught my daughter how to wash clothes with hand.


For her, it is not a requirement unless she wants to compete for the Survivor series. Wherever she will be, there will be dry cleaners to be paid for doing the job and washing machine to do her laundry.

She cannot marry a man who believes a good wife will have to soak his agbada and wash it. That kind of boy or man will not even dare visit us.

Nigbati ko ya were! Is my daughter the neighborhood drycleaner?

Marry your kind and that is very coded! I don’t care how it is interpreted. If you like leave your daughter in the hands of a serial killer because you want to appear cool with everybody.

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  • SYKofIJ

    I understand your point of view. In fact I am tempted to agree with you. But if you are as young as I think you are, and have lived abroad for 20 years, then I guess your parents brought you abroad or sponsored your education abroad.

    However I see things slightly differently. I came abroad to find the proverbial golden fleece. I came with a wife and a son. And another son quickly joined. And we were very poor. My wife and I are too proud to ask for handout from parents so we slugged it out on our own. Now my wife is not my “kind”. Her parents were well-to-do whereas my parents did not know where the next meal was coming from. Her parents were well educated, mine not quite so. When we came abroad, my wife took care of the home front while I looked for daily bread. “Home front” included “soaking my agbada and washing it”. She still does it now, howbeit with a machine.
    13 years later, our two boys attend an important grammar school (I’m sure you know what grammar school means in England), we live in our own house, we drive brand new cars (not leased, not financed).
    So if I may humbly suggest, allow your daughter to find a good man and allow them to do whatever they need to do to be happy and make a success of marriage. I have two boys and I have made clear and demonstrated to them women are not junior or inferior partner in a marriage. Allow your daughter to also learn how to do things with her hand. You do not know where she will find herself. My vicar, (an English medical doctor) and her husband are currently living in an African country. They built the house they are living in with their bare hands. Needless to say they do their laundry with their hands. Enough of “Sermonising your inbox”
    By the way, I love your article “We Are Sentenced To A Lonely Old Age”. Spot on. It aroused in me all kind of emotions. Many of them not very nice.