Letter To Williams And Siblings

June 2, 2019

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Letter To Williams And Siblings

By Remi Otuneye

Hello Children! I hope this meets you well. I had wanted to write you and your siblings a week earlier to celebrate children day with you, but time and chance have not been friendly. I had a lot to do on my list which I gave priority and decided to give you a special recognition when all the euphoria by parents has gone down to make mine known. I understand that “children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” So I ought not to fall your hand when necessary.

Just of recent while reading national dailies as usual, I saw it on mainstream newspaper how King of Swaziland, Mswati III, declared that men should marry more than five wives, and anything less than that will be punishable under the law of the land. And in order to fast-tract your comings when I know the low-cost maintenance wedding ceremony in Swaziland and government commitment to sponsor willing men, I called my friend, Ajibola Adigun, whose love for Africans knows no bound: “How far na?” He debunked the news to be fake and lacking substance. Saying, it was not verified information before being published, even, by trusted news outlet. Aside being a rumor, even if my body wanted to go, my soul would not. The reason being that bigamy is not a welcome idea where I come from and also, I don’t want to belong to the league of baby daddies. Though, I am indifferent about it. After all, the greatest leader of the Jews, King David, of blessed memory, died leaving behind legacies of being a great warrior, a loving father, a charming husband, a psalmist and, as well as a baby daddy. Our own David, I mean Adeleke, has towed the same line with growing baby mamas. And he was joyous to drop a song line – my baby mama, osinachi – in a remix. Who I be to say no be God?

You may be wondering that it is taking longer. I know. I don’t want you to witness the reality of life. Where parents force children to wear oversized dress and still go ahead to tell them: “it is your size, wear it”. Haba, that is fraudulent. It is height of inhumanity of man to man. Diaper is good, we all know. I don’t want you to wear ‘nappy’: knowing full well the huge difference between Polo and Lopo or the good smell of Paco Rabanne to that of Lofinda Fulani. Things have changed. Things are not the same. The echo of this world is so loud that it is blotting out the morning cockcrow. Infact, eye o ke bi eye mo, eku o ke bi eku mo. Literally meaning, the fouls of the air cry no more as same as the rats of the field. Normalcy and humanity seem to have vanished into thin hair. It is to your tents, O Israel. It is now survival of the fittest.

Someone needs to up his game and double his hustle. In fact, before where the office of the bus driver is separated from the office of the bus conductor. Now, commercial bus drivers have merged the two offices together. That is, the driving force is also the conducting force. Gone are the days when money is found on the floor and you hear lost but found. These days, if I hear! Some weeks back, I was almost depressed (though I didn’t drink snipper) when I forgot to collect my balance from a plenipotentiary bus driver who feign ignorance only to allow me debussed and zoom off. When I remembered, I was in ‘sefia’ pain for some minutes. Life goes on; my day will come and I will also form sleeping. Lol.

Children, for your case, las las I know everybody will be alright: for a good man leaves an inheritance of many stability and goodness to his children’s children (Proverbs 13:22). Some may even say “not until you make million.” Na dem! I know dem when I see dem. They can be inquisitive and may want to ask you that what of your mother or what has been happening in za ozza room? In no time answer them, in Bubu’s voice: ‘Puck you!’ Sorry dearests for P, I mean F words.

Happy children’s day my future! I remain resolute to keep strong and keep doing the right thing and hoping on God to crown the efforts. Despite holding steadfastly to our Lord’s Prayer to lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. I have adopted the Shepard’s prayer to my supplications. Alan Shepard was the first American to fly in space and the first man to play golf on the moon. Inside his rocket before blasting off, he would say and I pray: ‘Please, dear God, don’t let me fuck up’.
Signed: On behalf of Association of Responsible Future Fathers (RFF)