Safe And Sane With Dr Ola: Grieving Safely!

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Dr. Ola Ibigbami is the Acting Chief Consultant of State Specialist Hospital, Osogbo, Nigeria.

When the reaction to the loss of a loved one is still within normal limits, it’s best to avoid the use of drugs or alcohol as a means of coping with the emotional trauma of losing our loved one. Mental health experts advise that it is in order to let out your emotions early enough by either crying or expressing your thoughts about the loved one outwards to enhance what we called “catharsis”. Allow the bereaved to cry if he/she wants to. In some cultures, there are even culturally sanctioned approaches to wailing or expressing the pain of the loss of a loved one as part of the mourning process. The bereaved should avoid being alone as much as possible. This is to gather strength from others and to help in orientating oneself. Individuals who are bereaved can easily be confused. Hence, having reliable and matured persons around will provide the needed support. That is also why it is best to avoid making hasty decisions soon after the death of a loved one. How do we end Grief or attain closure? My sincere thoughts are that theoretically, the culturally sanctioned process of attaining closure is not a guarantee that grief will not become pathological or come to an end. For instance, some cultures specify a period when a bereaved person has to be in mourning. The period eventually ends in a religious activity or ritual that is meant to liberate the person from the dead. My opinion is that this can never remove the thoughts or the memory of the loved one from our hearts. I agree with the school of thought that values approaches to seemingly immortalize the dead by giving back to the society in the memory of the departed or seeing to the completion of projects or ventures which the departed would have loved to see completed. That is probably the best way to guarantee the possibility of attaining closure after the loss of a loved one. That is probably how we can safely and productively mourn the loss of our loved one while also positively preserving their memories. May the soul of my beloved teacher Prof. Femi Fatoye and other faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen. Dr. Ola Ibigbami [FWACP(Psych.) M.Clin.Psychol.], our anchor for ‘Safe & Sane’ is the Acting Chief Consultant of State Specialist Hospital, Osogbo, Nigeria. He is also the Coordinator, Children and Young Person’s Help Service, at the Hospitals’ Management Board. He is also an Associate Lecturer, Department of Psychiatry, College of Health Sciences, LAUTECH, Osogbo. For further inquiries, Dr Ibigbami can be contacted on +2348059547323,+2348030652116 or via his personal email:, Add 0802 739 7554 To Receive NEWS ALERTS On WhatsApp; For Adverts Enquiries, Whatsapp 0802 739 7554, READ ALSO! 14-Year-Old Pregnant Housemaid Dislodges Her Childless Madam, Says I Can’t Share Husband With You READ ALSO! The Smart CEO: Top 5 Websites To Get Cheap Domain Name Registration READ ALSO! First Bank’s Appalling Customer Service And Utter Disregard For Its Customers READ ALSO! Nigerian Filmmaker, Zuriel Oduwole Makes Forbes List Of 100 Most Influential African Women READ ALSO! the statement he issued earlier on Sunday]]>