Home Business News Are People Born Gay? By Ayoola Oke

Are People Born Gay? By Ayoola Oke


A great dust has arisen over Nigeria’s current gay legislation recently signed into Law by the country’s President and people have divided into different camps over the issues without any clear cut basis for these divisions. While many cite religion as their reasons for supporting the legislation many other equally religious people do not agree with them on the need for legislation. Some feel there are much bigger fishes to fry that wasting precious time on gay legislation and other simple decry the hypocrisy of a paedophile supporting or condoning National Assembly suddenly rediscovering their morality on the altar of gay behaviour. Many believe that gay behaviour does not hurt anyone and others contend that it insidiously corrupts the society or that it would invoke the wrath of God! There are myriads of other opinions pitching camps against other camps on the issue of gay liaisons and marriage. 

However one pertinent question that ultimately affects the way people view the gay issues and which camp they fall into is if whether people are actually born gay. The importance of this question is that if people are born gay then it might it might be difficult to find fault with them since they might actually have no choice in the matter. That is not to say there will not be some who would still believe gay people should in fact the destroyed even if they were born that way.

I had a stepbrother (not half-brother) who is gay and had always behaved like a girl ever since I knew him from the age of about 6-7 years. By the time he was fifteen it became clear that he was gay. Since he had always been girlish as long as I had known him I therefore considered the possibility that he must have been born gay. By the way up until the time my father married his mother he grew up with his mother (who was divorced from his father when he was still more or less baby) and his mother’s sisters and aunts without any male resident in their home. From my personal research (from the time while I was a Sociology Major) I came to discover that quite a few girlishly gay men share this similar kind of situation including the famous Leonardo Da Vinci. This raises the issue whether the problem is in their DNA or in their socialization, possibly because they lived amongst women they ended up internalizing the psychology or identifying with the wrong sex.

The deal breaker on whether people are born gay came with the question of identical twins. In many cases one identical twin would be gay and the other will not be gay and I have witnessed a real life situation in the case of my Higher School Certificate (HSC) classmate of mine. Twins are made up of the same DNA thus if it was a biological-birth issue, I believe either both twins should be gay or neither would be gay. In addition it appears that there are hardly cases of hereditary gay people or families.

However, the gay life style for some is clearly a choice (howsoever influenced) and many in this category become bisexual, while for others it is not a choice but a condition they apparently discover at puberty. Many in this latter category get very confused at the discovery that they are sexually attracted to persons of their own sex and usually have a difficult time dealing with the issue often having no choice but to hide the fact from public glare and pretend not to be gay. Thus I think being gay is a mental-psychological abnormality for this category. 

For those of us who are heterosexual to understand the choice issue in gay behaviour, we should consider if our own heterosexuality is a choice. From my own personal experience I will not say my heterosexuality came as a choice, I just found myself to be heterosexual. I was never confronted with having to make a decision to either choose being gay or being straight. In fact until I was between the ages of 11-13, I was practically non-sexual! In truth I hated the idea of sex and particularly dislike men who overtly exhibited lust. Funny enough I also despised pregnant women because it meant they had had sex and I felt probably due something in my upbringing that sex was a filthy thing. The worst thing you could do to me in those early years was to call someone my wife. I just could not stand girls especially when they start showing some affection or liking towards me. 

Then all of a sudden, puberty hit and I started having these incredible attraction and urges to girls! Clearly from my perspective, I did not choose to be straight. As a Christian I then struggled to deal with strange lustful desires, which I took over my being most especially those night “dreams.” I did not want to lust but l did in any case! Most especially when the eye sees or almost sees, what it is somewhat not meant to see thus generating a kind of pleasurable though guilt-ridden sexual excitement. 

Over the next many years after age 13, I prayed and fasted to not lust after women on one hand and on the other I found myself seriously desiring sexual relations. Just like the Bible explained I wanted to be a good and holy boy but I found myself having compulsive “badness” in me! Romans {7:14} For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. {7:15} For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. {7:16} If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that [it is] good. {7:17} Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. {7:18} For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but [how] to perform that which is good I find not. {7:19} For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Thus from my point of view I do not think all gay people choose to be gay although I have the confession of one gay person (not of the girlish type) who confessed how he was enticed into the lifestyle with money. If being gay is therefore not always a choice but some kind of mental or psychological problem I think rather than simply condemn them we should be seeking a cure if possible for their condition.

This is why while I personally may not support gay rights such as redefining marriage to include gay liaisons but I certainly support Fundamental Human Right for ALL INCLUDING GAY individuals. For this is why we say these rights are inalienable. It does not become alienable because you are gay or belong to a very tiny minority.

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