Bucky… 'In Retrospect': Happily Married?


This is in further to my ‘Happily Married?’ article yesterday, about a good relationship not just being about counting the years of marriage, but ensuring that we sow happiness into the years together. 

I am a committed christian, and I believe in GOD. However, being a Christian does not automatically mean any Christian will have a good marriage. There are many non-christians and atheists who have happy joy-filled marriages that will put the marriages of some so-called believers to shame. Why? Because it is the ‘doing’ and not the ‘saying’ that matters. We are meant to do what GOD has laid out, and not just talk about it..

GOD has given mankind plenty of commonsense, wisdom and clear guidelines about how to do the right things – whether or not we believe in Him. 

Love your partner. Respect them. Be committed to them. Understand the man wants to be respected by his woman, and the woman wants to be loved by her man. It sounds mega old-fashioned, but accept there is one head in the home – the man – and let the man honour the woman as the neck. Support each other. Be honest about money.

Do not bring outsiders into your problems. Do not call each other names when arguing. Do not let physical violence come into the relationship. Don’t use prolonged silence as a weapon. Do not let an argument last overnight. Do not withhold sex, food or money to punish your partner. Agree on how you will raise your kids (if you have any). Strive to make your partner happy. Give each other enough space to explore other interests, and talents. Support your partner as much as lies within you – always have their back. If you believe in GOD, then spend time praying together daily – even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.

Compromise, compromise, compromise. Be faithful to each other. Be friends and continue talking and going out on dates. Kiss each other daily, and say I love you frequently. Never ever fight dirty. Compromise, compromise, compromise. 

No-one will ever be able to do this everyday. Relationships will have good and bad days, up and down periods. However, when we strive to do our best, and pick ourselves up after getting it wrong, trying to continue doing our best, then we are following the unwritten laws in the heart of mankind. It aint easy, but a good relationship can be one of the most joy-filled things we have.

Whether one is a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Agnostic, Atheist, Hindu etc etc etc – if we all strive to do the above as much as possible, relationships will have a pretty good chance of working and making the two people in the relationship happy.

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