The Mirror With Chibuike: A Season Of Posters

 

The long awaited 2015 general election is here. In less than 6 weeks, Nigerians will troop to their different polling units to cast their votes for candidates of their choice. We certainly don’t have a choice because whether we vote or not, these politicians must occupy office, somehow.

 

Yes, we must have a president, governors, lawmakers, local government chairmen and others whether we like them or not. These men and women must live their dreams, somehow. But you know they would have to make it look like we actually wanted them.

 

So, they’re back to our streets, markets, schools, hospitals, churches and mosques after 4 years of disappearance. Recall the last time you saw these politicians one on one, hugging, kissing and exchanging handshake with poor and “dirty” Nigerians. That would be 4 years ago, during the campaigns for the 2011 general election when as usual they flooded our streets promising to give us heaven on earth while begging us for our votes.

 

Some said they had no shoes growing up and begged that if given the opportunity to lead, poor-shoeless Nigerians would not only have shoes but uninterrupted power supply wherever they maybe in this country. And trust us very sympathetic Nigerians; not only did we vote massively for them, we also gave our widow’s mite and they won and disappeared. Now, they cannot even visit Chibok. Let us ask ourselves this honest question; ‘Have the lives of poor Nigerians gotten better since 2011 or are they worse off?’

 

While they begged for our votes, they promised us free entry and exit into their offices to see them anytime we wanted; but now, we only see them on TV and that is for those who have TV and generator sets to power them. Kai! Haba!

 

And they promised: Employment for all by the year 2015, food for all by the year 2015, houses for all by the year 2015, cars for all by the year 2015, free health care services for all by the year 2015, education for all by the year 2015, power supply for all by the year 2015, husband and wife for all by the year 2015. And we clapped and danced as these seducing promises filtered through our ears. They have squandered all the budgets for the last four years and threw us into huge debts through local and international borrowing. Now, the naira is as good as dead. So, be the judge my dear! Are we better or worse off? Haba PDP! Haba APC! Haba Nigerians! 

 

Nigerian politicians are shameless people. Now, they have littered our streets, markets, hospitals, schools, churches and mosques with their posters, promising to give us those things which they failed to give us after they had promised just 4 years ago. And you know, we will still believe them and give them another chance. We don’t have a choice. Poor us!

There’s no difference between the incumbent and his opponent because they are saying the same thing and they have the same mission-to loot. It’s a season of posters my people and we must go and vote for the same people in different bodies. Yes. Because when the incumbent has exhausted his tenure, he crowns his son or daughter or wife or his very loyal disciple to the throne and the party continues.

 

But trust me, these men and women we see in these posters can make for wonderful fashion models. Look at their attires with the seducing and assuring smile on their faces and you would think they could turn water into wine. But we know what they want. They just want to rule and loot. If not, how could a governor who vowed to rebuild our dilapidated schools and hospitals 4 years ago but failed to do so, return to have his posters glued on the same schools and hospitals; asking for another 4 years to try again. Kai Nigerians! These politicians are using our heads to drink garri.

 

I see posters everywhere. The new boys in the game want to take over from the old boys not because they love us but because they want to be as rich as or even richer than the old boys in the game.

 

 And we see them everywhere even in our synagogues with our revered clergy men endorsing them on the day of bazaar and thanksgiving service and denouncing same people few days after without returning their offertory to them. Haba Revered Father!

 

Some print their own posters not because they want to contest for an elective office but because they want to be compensated. So you too can print your posters and glue them wherever you may like; the other man could see you as a threat to his political ambition and then compensate you hugely in order for you to step aside for him. Try it. 

You would see them in all kinds of posture on their posters. Some with their hands pointing upwards and others with their arms on their chest pledging total allegiance and then their mandate would read: “Let’s do it again.” Do want again! When it’s so obvious that nothing was done the first time; but somehow, we must return these old liars and bring new ones to join them and then sit back to watch them get richer while we get poorer. Do we have a choice? 

 

Our woes in the hands of these politicians are compounded further if you consider the recent statement of Niger State Governor, Aliyu Babangida. Aliyu argued that it’s only customary for him and his “partners in crime” to tell us lies if they must survive in the present game of politics.

 

Hear the man: “If you cannot lie, get out of politics. Anything you are involved in has its own rule. You are in politics to win, win first and let other things follow. Don’t be the one crying louder; lest you will be the one they will take to court. If you are talking of honesty or morals, go and become an Imam or Pastor. Politics cannot be the way it used to be.

“The challenges are more now, the variables have changed, the issues that we are going to face in 2015 are different from the one we faced in 1999 and we must bear this in mind. Our society is not as grateful as it used to be, the values and morals have gone down. If you want to win, use the modern morality…” 

 

If my guess is right, I think Aliyu’s “modern morality” is another way of defining “stomach infrastructure.” So, all a politician of today has to do is tell the ungrateful society lies (omit some certain truth-that you are only going to office to steal), give the poor and hungry “ingrates” some rice and beans and then “win first and let other things follow.” The “win first” formula is the reason why you see posters everywhere including our public toilets and bathrooms. 

 

You now see why I agree with IBB when he said he and his boys are “saints” and “angels.” IBB and his boys stole from us with one hand but these ones are stealing from us with both hands and legs including their mouths and caps. As it stands today in Nigeria, stealing is not corruption. What a country!

 

I see posters everywhere; on our tricycles, taxis and buses. Some of us even wear them as clothes. We are willing to die for these liars; we don’t have choice. INEC and co are not interested in monitoring and investigating the sources of these huge campaign funds.

 

The only good thing about this season of posters is that our brothers and sisters in the art and print industry are smiling heavily to the banks. To these ones, every year should be an election year.

 

The 2015 general election is here and we must come out to elect these liars to power. But we should be careful. Let us at least be careful to elect the-not-so-terrible-liars to power to see if our miserable lives could change for the better. Nigerians are in dire need of a messiah and I see none among this crop of politicians. There is God.

 

P…D…P…! Papa Dash Pikin!

 

A…P…C…! After Papa Children!

 

Na the same people!