2015 Poll: What Happened To Goodluck? By Olulana Alofe

 

It was getting dark but the Very Important Man with the expensive shoes along with his handlers were almost at the gate of the white house on the rock. Along the way, the Very Important Man's Shoes had gotten muddied and he had been betrayed by those charged with protecting him. They had watched the other Very Important,  tall and lanky man surge by while they wasted time at the muddy pool. Anyway, they had used a trick that should have helped them catch up with him by adding six lengths of measure to the path both of them were supposed to pass through. Through those six measures, they had run instead of walking and allowed KFK their attack dog to unleash his fangs on the shadow of the tall and lanky man! All in an attempt to slow him down. So, they expected to surge ahead and retain the keys of the White house on the rock from the gate man, Professor J,  who had refused to retire by force, so a more sympathetic gate man, Omink could be put in place. The greatest surprise though was the stunning reversal of support the Very Important Man noticed from the cheering crowd! Somehow, the tall and lanky man was getting louder cheers!

 

He started reminiscing about his good luck from his humble beginnings when the "old soldier" took him from his lowly head leader by default position to be the second man to the former Very Important Man who suddenly vacated the top position soon after, thrusting him unprepared into the post he occupied now. Again, by default! Later, when he was put before the Council of People to plead with them to let him continue occupying the White house on the rock, the crowd was behind and for him against this same tall and lanky man who would not go away! The old soldier was right there with him even though he, the old soldier used to work in the same company as "that tall man who had no documents to show he was legally employed there! Unlike him, with three legal documents that proved he was qualified, the very Important man with the expensive shoes had no flaws he thought" Now, the crowd was cheering for the tall one? What happened? How had his good luck deserted him?

 

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That awful decision to remove the scheme that previous Very Important Men had used to siphon the people's money backfired when he allowed the keepers of peace to handle protesters. What was it called again?  Yes, subsidy! Some people were killed and the people started showing a lot of displeasure! The seed of the tree that would uproot his foundation was sown! He, the Very Important Man with the expensive shoes tried to use cosmetics to transform the places where those who would renew the lease he was given at the White house on the rock lived. Pretty much like people use them to hide away spots and blemishes. Some of the crowd bought into those slow moving transformations but most did not see anything moving at all! They really wanted change. There were many things that made the crowd very upset with the Very Important Man, the old soldier tried to tell him. Two of them  most of all. He was not listening. He should have.

 

People were disappearing! A ragtag collection of misfits was responsible and they were not taken seriously at all by him! Instead of looking for the "disappeared," he was telling other crowds far away how sad he was that they lost some people too. Meanwhile, his people kept disappearing in thousands. Most of them permanently! The protectors of the people were not able to go against the ragtag misfits because goats got to the yams in storage! Tools needed to push the ragtag misfits into oblivion were not given to the protectors so, they ran away, if they survived! Many of them were "disappeared" as well! Too many! The temperature of the people was rising and it jumped several degrees when some of the top protectors decided to do away permanently with lower level protectors who complained about missing tools and much more. The Very Important Man seemed oblivious to what was going on as he went dancing quite often. Bomb blasts shook up the locale around him.

 

The other annoying thing he was told had to do with those heaps of yams in storage and goats being used to protect them! Everyone knew the yams that kept on vanishing were being eaten by those goats! The Very Important Man with the expensive shoes did absolutely nothing about it because, yams kept missing still! He said he was using special, invisible charms to keep the goats from the yams but the very greedy goats were able to get to the yams quite easily! It did not make any sense at all! One of the former gatekeepers to the yam storage facility warned about the way so much yam was being stolen. He was told to shut up by the current keeper of yams. She did not like his tone and wrote him a very angry public letter. Well, she got a more explosive public exposé in return that included a detailed description of her role in the reduction of the value of yams in storage. It was very ugly indeed.

 

These two examples of the mud that was staining the Very Important Man with the expensive shoes while he swam in the muddy pool did not seem to have any effect on him. He kept on as if nothing was amis and life was great! Then he insulted the old soldier who was his benefactor and he also allowed KFK to talk down to him on his behalf. The old soldier had it then and walked away from the team which provided the handlers, throwing pieces of his membership card at them. That was a very bad omen! To make matters worse, when the woman the whole world knew interviewed him about the situation in his locale months before, he had stuttered and stumbled his way through it. His opponent, the tall and lanky man breezed through his interview with her during their walk to the White house on the rock! Many who saw it could not contain their feelings of disgust towards the uninspiring performance of the very important man with the expensive shoes! So, they decided to give the keys to the White house on the rock to the very important, tall and lanky man instead.

 

Suddenly, he got roused from his reverie, realizing he had bumped his nose against the locked gate of the White house on the rock. That had never happened before! He gave orders to lock up gates and not the other way round! Looking through the bars, he saw that the tall and lanky man was already inside, beginning to settle down comfortably! No, no, no! He looked at his handlers and saw just a few around him. The one with the loud voice who kept attacking the tall and lanky man about his health was smiling and singing the praise of his opponent with his hands stretched through the bars towards the house! Both Dr RA and DO were strangely silent. Dr DO had claimed the tall and lanky man would never live in the White house on the rock! Reality set in for the Very Important Man with the expensive shoes. He saw how lonely he really was and knowing that those who still supported him might decide to follow the o ne who got "jegaed," and create a riot, he did what he should do. It was a short phone call that he used to negotiate his way out of further infamy. You see, his wife had brought a lot of negative publicity by her too many public utterances and so he kept counsel with those from without. This time, he decided to do this without her support or that of his handlers. They were livid but the die was cast now. Professor J, in a very public display, gave the new Tenancy certificate along with keys to the White house on the rock to the tall and lanky man. The crowd cheered with new hope in their eyes!

 

Good luck turned into bad luck in the space of four years! Goodwill transformed into hostility very quickly it seemed. The story with a great beginning was ending in a tragedy for the man with the expensive shoes. How was history going to refer to him. Hero or failure? What was his legacy going to be? The man who used the last opportunity given to him to move into rarefied air as one of the few African leaders to be removed from office through the ballot box and concede to the opponent, or the president who got sacked because he could not get it done? He now had a headache. How was he going to face his own people whom he did nothing for and bragged about it, effectively saying that no one can accuse him of being partial to them? Thoughts of that nature were torturing his mind as he entered the White house on the rock through the side gate to collect his belongings and hand over relevant documents and information to the new occupant.

 

The end should be better than the beginning. He looked at his very expensive shoes and remembered the time when he said he did not have any shoes. God has been good still, he thought. At least, he was at the position longer than his predecessor and he will have more clout than the illegally made Very Important Man who sits on the most senior Council. There is always room to praise God he told himself as he thought of his village in the delta. "I'm coming home!" 

 

You can follow the writer on twitter @broslan